Past that will never be forgotten

I think about him, a lot, more, so lately. I still can recall his face even years has past. He came into my dream and he is part of my nightmare. At first, I thought i'd past all this, obviously, i cannot. I cant clear my mind with thought about him. It hurts me, killed me everytime i think of it. I myself dont know how to overcome this past, i hope that one day i had a memory loss. There, i will forget everything about him and my past. I forget how far i have come and how much i have been through and the terror i felt that day. 😢

The memories are so real that i can almost still feel the pain. Shock. Confusion. Fear. The feeling of helplessness. The moment when i knew i am going no where until he was done. I can feel his teeth biting into my skin. I can feel his hands bruising me. I just wanted him to stop, but he wouldnt. A woman's most nightmare is happening to me. 

You dont realised until it happens to you just how devastating an act it is. When people say just get over it, it is not as simple as that, if only it was. It takes a long time, longer than i'd like it to be. Will my life will be normal again? I wonder .. 

-venusxa-